To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize