Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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