is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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