I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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