I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
