i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
