Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
