break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
