So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
