I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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