I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
