I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
