I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize