Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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