Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
