i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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