Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
