well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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