there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
did you just send me my own nude
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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