mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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