i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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