Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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