But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
