Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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