2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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