Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
