im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
