Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have post one night stand depression
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
