the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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