My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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