i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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