At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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