He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
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Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
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On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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