i just wanna soil my oats bro
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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