we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
