my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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