Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
