found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
