This girl is more easily done than said...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
