this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
