Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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