He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
