Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
