I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
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What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
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You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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