have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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