I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
