big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize