I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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