fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
