watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
