Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
as a side note pls kill me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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