I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
