i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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