youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize