You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
