Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
vagina is talking i cant
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
