Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
