Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
