you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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