non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We don't watch enough power rangers
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
