We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize