I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
