the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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